I am a Midlife Mom on Fire. No, that does not mean I am having a hot flash or you can find me on a hot moms porn site.
It is my life that is on fire and the unique contribution I can make to this world. I want to be an example of what is possible for other moms in my stage of life and for my daughters some day. And there is still time.
For years I forgot this. I forgot to dream. The stunning epiphany that I forgot myself completely brought burning tears to my eyes as I was standing over the washer and dryer one morning. I was the stay at home mom washing their underwear so they could go out and conquer the world. Maybe this was God’s plan for me from the beginning. I should consider it an honor
I often thought about the girl I was in high school and college before I had given up my name and had children, I just didn’t recognize her anymore. As a wife and a mother, I was dedicated to everyone else’s dreams and I thought I could no longer have my own. Somewhere along the way I had made the unconscious decision that my dreams had to be sacrificed. Marriage and family had been my dream early on and once that dream was realized I began living through their milestones. I was a proud mother and wife and received my confidence through their promotions, graduations, celebrations and performances. I had let myself go. Not just the hair, lack of makeup and yoga pants in the school drop off line, but my whole identity. I had watched my children grow up and stopped growing myself.
While I felt happy most of the time, there was a nagging feeling inside me that would never go away. No amount of buffering with food, wine, travel, Netflix or everyone else’s accomplishments could quench my thirst for the evolution of me. Once I discovered this, it all made sense. It was a noble calling to be a wife and mother, but God was also calling me at 48 to develop my full potential for his purposes and to grow closer to him for the rest of my life. Yesterday I had let myself go. Today I would decide how to let myself grow in to a woman with a life on fire.
-Growing means giving myself permission to love myself fearlessly because God loves me.
-Growing means believing in my own dreams and defining goals, obstacles and strategies in my life to achieve them.
-Growing means trying new things, taking risks and not being afraid to fail.
-Growing means being comfortable with discomfort because this is how growth feels.
-Growing means forming my identity in my present rather than my past.
-Growing means finding my voice while not judging the voices of others.
-Growing means the kids are alright, I am raising great humans and God will do the rest.
-Growing means my husband and I can both be the heroes of our own love story.
-Growing means finding my creative self among the seemingly mundane tasks of my day.
-Growing means I’m not busy, but I can still say no.
-Growing means living life consciously and managing my thoughts and emotions to best serve me.
-Growing means I am responsible for myself and not responsible for controlling others.
-Growing means this moment is perfect and I need to breathe.
-Growing means being so excited about my life that I forget about my lip wrinkles, spider veins, chin whiskers, etc., completely.
-Growing means sharing these truths by loving other women so they can be midlife moms with lives on fire like me.
Stephanie Allen is a Midlife Mom on Fire currently pursuing a life coach certification through The Life Coach School. She is a military spouse and the mother of three.
Stephanie Nicole 